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1. So… you don’t have to be monogamous to have “commitment”. A Commitment is simply an intention to honor an agreement.
The commitment I strive for is: “I want good people in my life forever and I won’t risk having a physical relationship with you if it means you won’t be in my life 5 years from now.” I have to admit, this is really hard and I HAVE mess this up a few times, now. But I’ve learned some incredible lessons about myself and I’m getting better at not allowing relationships that risk friendships.
As far as commitments like building a life together, “nesting partners” is a term that is used often to describe that. 2 or more nesting partners are committed daily and in the future to making life work for everyone.
*I* will never agree to be monogamous again. When I agreed to be monogamous in the past, I “ignored” or “turned off” my attraction to other women. They are simply “off limits” Now I do the opposite. I am poly and now I “turn off” my attraction to monogamous women, regardless of their relationship status.